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- When rest feels like rebellion
Hey friend,
I'm going to let you in on something I'm struggling with right now. Since leaving my news career in December of 2023, the clear boundaries between work and home have dissolved.
Can you relate? Have you ever felt guilty when you're not being productive? Perhaps you've experienced the weight of expectation to always be doing something.
Your phone—yes, the one you're probably reading this on right now—has become the ultimate stillness impostor. It masquerades as relaxation while actually being work in disguise. We think we're taking a break when we scroll, but our brains are making hundreds of micro-decisions: like or dislike, read more or keep scrolling, respond or ignore.
Our phones have cosplayed as stillness companions while actually being stillness thieves.
Think about it…when was the last time you sat without doing anything? No podcast playing in the background, no show streaming, no thumbs scrolling.
Just you, present, in the moment. 🧘🏽♀️
For many of us, that kind of stillness feels almost rebellious in a world that demands constant engagement.
Why does rest feel like rebellion?
We live in a culture that glorifies the hustle, celebrates "rise and grind" mentalities, and equates busyness with importance. The Protestant work ethic, deeply embedded in Western culture, has taught us that our value comes from our productivity. Studies show that Americans work longer hours and take fewer vacations than workers in most other developed nations. Even during supposed "off hours," we remain tethered to our devices, constantly accessible and engaged.
Given these imprints in our collective psyche, it's hard to pause without attaching a stigma to it. All too often, we associate being still with being lazy. But the reality is we need to build in moments of nothingness to thrive in the long run.
Defining the terms: What is stillness? What is laziness?
Stillness is intentional presence. It's not the absence of activity but the presence of awareness. It might look like meditation, gazing out a window, or simply sitting with your thoughts. Stillness creates space for insights, creativity, and renewal.
Laziness, by contrast, is disengagement from life out of apathy or avoidance. The key difference? Intention. Stillness is chosen. It serves a purpose.
The science behind stillness
Contrary to what our achievement-oriented culture suggests, stillness isn't just pleasant. It’s essential for optimal performance and well-being:
🧠 Cognitive benefits: Regular periods of stillness enhance creative problem-solving and decision-making abilities. The brain's default mode network activates during rest, making connections between seemingly unrelated ideas.
⚕️Physical benefits: Stillness reduces cortisol levels and inflammation, lowers blood pressure, and strengthens immune function.
😌 Emotional benefits: Periods of stillness help regulate emotions, increase self-awareness, and improve resilience to stress.
Making stillness practical: Where do we start?
How many times have you spent a weekend "resting" only to start Monday feeling just as depleted? That's because passive rest, like scrolling social media or binge-watching shows, might pause exertion but doesn't actively rebuild your resources.
Quality rest involves intentional activities that replenish your specific type of depletion. If your work demands constant decision-making, restorative rest might look like time in nature where choices are minimal. If your work is sedentary, it might include some exercise or movement. If you're surrounded by people all day, true rest likely requires solitude.
Our worth isn’t measured by our productivity
Perhaps the most rebellious act for those of us raised to equate stillness with laziness is to recognize that our value exists independent of our output. We are human beings, not human doings.
For me, this is easier said than done. Some days, stillness feels impossible, dangerous even. But I'm beginning to see that my best work(and my best self!) emerge not from constant motion, but from the spaces in between.
What about you? Does rest feel like rebellion in your life? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
  Accept limits, prioritize what matters. |   Bought this for our flight to LA |   ICYMI, on retrospective vulnerability |
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.
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