My on-air panic attack and how I overcame impostor syndrome

Hi friend,

Ready for a storytime moment? Let me set the stage for you…

It hit me without warning while broadcasting live at one of the top news stations in the country. My heart hammered against my ribs, my hands trembled, and my voice—the instrument I'd spent years perfecting—suddenly thinned to a whisper. There I was, anchoring the 4 PM news in 2019, having what I would later recognize as a full-blown panic attack on live television. 🫨

My veteran co-anchor sailed through his segments with practiced ease while I was just weeks into my role as main anchor, drowning on air. When the producer later joked after the broadcast, "I wasn't sure you were going to make it through that; everything okay?" I laughed it off, but inside, I was crumbling. I didn't understand then that this wasn't just nerves; it was impostor syndrome taking physical form.

Despite clear evidence of capabilities and achievements, someone experiencing imposter syndrome attributes their success to luck, timing, or the ability to deceive others about their competence. It often stems from:

1. 🙋🏽‍♀️Perfectionism: Setting impossibly high standards that, when inevitably unmet, reinforce feelings of inadequacy.

2. 🧑‍🧑‍🧒‍🧒Family dynamics: Growing up with mixed messages about achievement or in environments where success was either overly praised or never acknowledged.

3. 🤷🏽‍♀️New challenges: Novel roles or responsibilities (like my transition to main anchor) can trigger feelings of fraudulence.

4. ✊🏽Minority status: Being "the only" or "one of few" in a group can heighten feelings of not belonging. 

Who Imposter Syndrome Affects Most

 Studies consistently show that certain groups are disproportionately affected:

• First-generation professionals

• Women in male-dominated fields

• Racial and ethnic minorities

• High-achievers and perfectionists

• People from lower socioeconomic backgrounds

A Note of Caution

I want to acknowledge something important: By dwelling too long on impostor syndrome, we risk internalizing the very narratives that society sometimes imposes on us: that we are somehow less than or that our self-doubt is a personal failing (rather than often a rational response to systems that weren't designed for us!). 

The goal isn't to "fix" ourselves but to recognize these feelings for what they are: extremely common human experiences that we can move beyond.

How I Overcame  Impostor Syndrome

My journey moving past impostor syndrome didn’t happen  overnight, but these evidence-based strategies made all the  difference:

1. 🗣Break the Silence. Simply naming these feelings can reduce their power. When I finally confided in a trusted colleague about my panic attack, the shame began to dissipate. The isolation of impostor syndrome thrives in silence.
   

2.  🔍Separate Feelings from Facts. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen recommends documenting and reviewing your achievements when impostor feelings arise. I created a "victory file" of positive feedback, successful broadcasts, and challenging moments I'd navigated well.
   

3. 🙅🏽‍♀️Stop Relying on External Validation. My favorite quote became my mantra: "If you live by the compliments, you'll die by the critics."
   

4. 🤝🏽Find Reliable Feedback Sources. For me, getting mentors who provided constructive, honest feedback was crucial.
   

5. 💪🏽Recognize Your Strengths. I took time to identify what I genuinely did well. Focusing on signature strengths reduces impostor feelings and increases well-being.
   

6. 🖼️ Reframe Failure as Growth. Viewing abilities as developable rather than fixed reduces impostor feelings; I started seeing on-air mistakes as learning opportunities rather than evidence of incompetence.
   

7. 👏🏽Set Realistic Standards. Perfectionism fuels impostor syndrome. I learned to celebrate "good enough" instead of demanding flawlessness.

The Real Cost of Impostor Syndrome

Here’s the thing: impostor syndrome has tangible costs. 

In my career, I undervalued my worth during negotiations because I felt "fortunate to be at the table" rather than recognizing the mutual benefit of my presence. This mindset literally cost me money.

Beyond my salary, impostor syndrome also cost me my authenticity. When I couldn't bring my full personality to broadcasts because I was too busy monitoring myself for mistakes, that was the highest price I paid.

Taking Up Space Unapologetically

The day I realized I no longer struggled with impostor syndrome felt like shedding armor. My shoulders relaxed. My breathing evened out. My on-air presence transformed from cautious and measured to real and dynamic.

I found myself improvising during broadcasts, letting my natural curiosity and humor shine through. I negotiated confidently, knowing my worth wasn't determined by others' perceptions but by the value I brought.

Here's the truth I wish I'd known during that panic attack: The table was built for me, too. My voice, perspective, and talent weren't accidental additions to the newsroom. They were essential. The moment I stopped questioning whether I belonged was the moment I truly began to lead.

We don't overcome impostor syndrome by convincing ourselves we're good enough for spaces that weren't designed for us. We overcome it by recognizing that any space lucky enough to have us is made better by our presence. 

More news you can use

• Lean into your fears 

• Fluency is subjective apparently

• Pregame prayer

• Everyone loves a black dress

I’m so glad you’re here! If you’re enjoying these emails, here’s how you can continue to support this newsletter:

• Add [email protected] to your contacts so you never miss a beat.

• Secrets don’t keep friends: share this message! Here’s a link to subscribe.

• Connect with me on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube. 

Until Next Time, 

The “This Just In” newsletter may have affiliate links included throughout the email, so if you buy through them, I get a small commission (at no extra cost to you!). I only recommend stuff I truly love, and if it's sponsored, I’ll disclose that it is a brand partnership. Thank you so much for your continued support.